Mom 2018

Years ago I wrote an homage to my Father. Every word I wrote then is one hundred percent valid today. He taught me so much about everything. Granted some of his lessons took years to take hold but they finally did. He was a true man among men and I am better for it.

With Mother’s Day approaching it is only fitting that I do like wise for my Mom.

Born in the bayou country outside New Orleans and grew up in Brooklyn she was the consummate Mother of the 50’s and 60’s if you can harken back to those days.

She was the heart of the house. She kept the four of us filled up with love and life lessons. But that is not to say she wasn’t tough on us. She was known to wield “The Persuader” which was an old style leather barbers’ razor strap about three inches wide, two feet long and quite thick. If you aren’t familiar, Google it. And when the situation warranted she would play her ace in the hole “Wait ‘til your Father gets home.” That would usually put an end to just about every bad behavior. When we got older “The Persuader” was threatened but we could easily wrench from her. That always led to laughter on our part and would take the steam out of her anger with us.

What Mom really was was the lover and the teacher of the house. I can remember so many heart to heart talks by which she was sharing her knowledge about life, love and how to be an honorable person.

Our needs always came before hers. I wonder how many dinners she left the table hungry because Dad and us boys eat more than our portion. That makes me sad.

Some of her sayings live in me to today. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all” “Wait ‘til you have kids. Keep talking to them because they only hear ten percent of what you say, you just don’t know which ten percent.”

She taught all her boys how to cook, clean the house, wash our clothes, sew and iron.

“You have to rely on yourself so you don’t have to depend on someone to take care of you.” Manners and understanding what constituted good behavior was very important to her always reminding us “Don’t make a scene.” There is one of her adages that I use in everyday life even to today, “You only get one chance to make a first impression.”

She was also my conscience. On one occasion I was embroiled in relationship that was not to her liking. She called me on it, told me what she saw and reminded me of who I was and who our family was. As painful as it was she was completely correct and only concerned with me.

Mom would not abide lying, cheating or stealing, made us study our catechism and learn our prayers. She was not overly religious but she knew the dividends faith would have for us all. Thanks for that Mom.

Before it became fashionable for women to work outside the home my Mom took a job at the local school to help my Father support the house. She was the lunch lady.

I didn’t think much of it at the time but in retrospect I am abundantly proud of her. It made a difference in our lives and she did it willingly and without complaint.

The

picture above is one that I hold very dear. There I am in my wedding tuxedo with Mom and Dad beside me and Mom is leaning towards me with a kiss. Oh if I could only have one more of those.

Thanks Mom.

#Mom #Dad #MothersDay